Today is day 1 of a 21-day fast. First off, let me say that I REALLY don’t like fasting. I’ve never been “good” at fasting, even though I’ve done it several times. I usually get hungry quickly and stay hungry for the entire time, and when I’m one of those who get “hangry” – I get sharp, bitter, upset, angry… none of which are traits you want to exhibit. Especially when you’re fasting!
Also, most people get great revelations when they fast. Not me. I don’t hear God better. I don’t get cool revs or insights. Many times when I get to the end, I wonder if it made any difference at all.
But, I have realized that AFTER the fasting is over, maybe even weeks later, I see God working in my world in really neat ways. So I do know it is productive, I just normally have to wait a bit longer to see the results.
This time, I’m really trying to focus on having a different attitude. While I certainly don’t enjoy giving up food, I am going into this one more determined to rise above the hunger, rise above the feelings of anger, delve deep into God’s Word, and let Him do whatever He will do. I am expecting to receive direction. I am expecting to get renewed, and my fire re-kindled. I am ready for a new encounter.
I had one rough patch today when the stress at work was higher than normal. I started to have those anger bursts, feeling overwhelmed and out of control. But I stopped, took a deep breath, and let God invade my being and set up on a better course. I had my juice, and the day was really not that bad! Yes I was hungry, but not as much as I have been in the past.
I’ve read my devotions, read my daily Bible passages, and will wind down my day in prayer and meditation. Lord, speak to me. Let me see You in Your awesome splendor. Let me trust You as I have never done before. Give me peace where there is turmoil, hope where there is doubt, and strength where there is exhaustion and weakness. I want to honor You in all that I do and in all that I am. You are the potter, and I am but clay. Mold me into the vessel You want me to be, and change any part of my heart that does not want to be obedient to You. Love, Your daughter. AMEN